Floyd on his way out? No chance
Less than a week after England skipper Andrew Strauss announced to a shocked cricketing world that he would retire from all forms of cricket, Baz Floyd has come forward to announce 'there's no bloody way I'm retiring'.
West Oxfordshire's cricket fraternity let out a collective groan when Floyd insisted that his bad form this season was not down to him having to stand in for absent skipper Chris Grain.
'The pressures that come with being skipper of the Tigers has made absolutely no difference to my batting performances this season. I was crap anyway.' Floyd insisted 'A couple of members of the Ambush have tried to re-assure me that repeated bad decision making and appallingly executed shots towards cow corner is just a loss of form. I don't agree. You see, saying I've lost form seems to suggest I had previously enjoyed good form. That's just not true.'
Fellow middle-order batsman, James Grist-Perkins, told us 'Yeah, Baz's life expectancy of six balls is putting quite a lot of pressure on the middle order. I panic if I haven't got my pads on when I see old bucket-hands strolling out to the crease. I know Huw and Cam who bat at six and seven both feel the same. Apart from getting padded up on time we're not that bothered. Just means we get to bat longer, doesn't it?'
James Grist-Perkins
'You don't know what pressure is until you see Floydy
walking out and realise you're not padded up'
Floyd has vowed to continue not bothering to play himself in, going for ridiculous shots that are way beyond his capability and staring in disbelief at broken stumps and celebrating wicket-keepers.
'There's always next season isn't there? Did I ever tell you about my 48 at Churchill?'
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